I never understood the magnitude of the statement. “He has to be loyal and trustworthy”, of course when asked what your ideal man is.. you throw that line in there. But does it really mean that much to you? To me, I know, it was a very overrated statement that I just used to throw around to relate to all my friends. I think the main reason why I didn’t see it as such a big deal was that in all my past relationships I’ve never had to worry about the guy being untrustworthy to me. I have been lucky I guess. Because I now know the importance of this trait in a person and the truth behind ‘Love is never enough.’
Its been a while since I’ve shared my personal relationships on the blog and that truly is because there hasn’t been any reason too. I’ve been single for over a year and prior to that my last long-term relationship was nearly three years ago. So the whole dating game has been put on pause because I genuinely cannot be bothered for it. However, I wasn’t going to share this part of my life with anyone but I feel that now I need too just because of some recent events that unfolded in the last week.
As many of you know I just celebrated my 26th birthday which was fab but the night prior to my big bash, I received a message from someone whom I thought I’d never heard from again. So let’s take it back a couple of months, in June I began speaking to someone who lived in another country and we grew very close to each other. I haven’t ever opened up to someone as much as I did with this person. We spoke for two months and planned to eventually date and all that (rubbish). I pretty much told most of my family that I thought he was the one, my soulmate, my person, unicorn etc. I didn’t speak to any other guys, go on dates, none of that even though this person lived on the other side of the world. I guess you can say you do crazy things for LOVE *vomiting*. I mean I don’t think I was in love with this person.. yet, but it was pretty close. So nearly 2 months went by where I spoke to this person every single day for hours and hours and the bombshell hits.
You know life isn’t perfect and things don’t work out the way you want them too. Love stories are there to prep us for this, there is always an issue a couple has in every movie that they must work through or they lose each other. This was exactly that when my friends say I should get a reality TV show, I kind of agree. My life is like a movie, things always going right and wrong but its always eventful and you can always learn from it all. So, the bombshell hits that he is having a child with someone else. A brief 2-minute conversation followed by him blocking me on every single online channel possible. Let me tell you when I received this news I thought to myself I never ever want to meet anyone again. I still to this day think that sometimes. So for 4 months, this person did not make an appearance in my life, I never had closure and every guy since him I always cut off or just made excuses to myself as to why it wouldn’t work.
The night before my birthday a Facebook message pops up and low and behold it is the dad-to-be. Apparently stating that the baby was not his and that possibly we could reunite. But wait, *fastforward* after 2 days of talking to each other and me forgiving him and working through our issues he then tells me it won’t work, we don’t suit because I will never get over the fact that he ended it with me for someone else. So let’s run through this one more time… he contacted me to apologise and see if we could try things again but then because it got a little too difficult because the trust was broken he then drops me again like he did the first time and stops talking to me.
Moral of the story ladies is that as much of a shitty situation you may be in, you are always learning. I thank him for putting me through this because without him I would never cherish trust and loyalty in my partner (I don’t have one yet). We always have to be grateful for the complications life puts us through because without those hurdles we wouldn’t be as strong as we are each and every day. So instead of hating on men (which I used to do) and asking myself what is wrong with me *cough* everything, I accept that people aren’t always going to be in your life for the reasons you expected.
This is a very long post, but I thought I’d share something personal as its been a while since I’ve posted anything and hopefully some of you can learn, relate, share and laugh about life with me.
Tyanna De Assis x